He peered through the ICU window into the patient’s room. The patient was his grandfather, whom he endearingly called “Pa” since he was able to talk. Life support was being removed after two years of enduring ALS, the complications delivering their final blow.
Initially, he did not desire to stand at Pa’s side as we removed the final apparatus. However, love had its way, and he was compelled by it to take part in a final farewell as angels attended. Deep emotion escaped with a tear, and I watched as my son stepped into new shoes.
Consider the shoes you’ve grown out of and the shoes you’ve grown into as God has allowed you experiences of both pleasure and pain. With each pair of shoes, we can chose to become a more integrated, enriched pilgrim on this journey through life. Sharing from the heart of personal experience, with authenticity, genuineness and transparency, is one of the greatest gifts you can give another.
New shoes can be stiff and awkward, becoming more comfortable with time. And that’s just about when God will place before you, new shoes to step into.
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Part Three of my sister Jayne’s, testimony of healing.
Struggling with never being good enough or doing enough, always feeling as though she was experiencing life from the outside looking in, she was sure that the pervasive shame and guilt she felt was deserved. As God so often does, he waits to reveal certain truths to us until we are able to bear them. So it was that day, when my sister walked into the kitchen and made a statement that left us both speechless, as it hung in the air: “I just remembered something from when I was about two.”
A buried memory; erupting emotions; tumbling thoughts.
It’s been nine months since that moment.
As devastating as the memory was, the healing has been miraculous. Out of the ashes of near death and years of heartache, a new person has been born out of the adversity. Jayne glows and radiates hope, love, and a peaceful spirit, with a sincere and genuine empathy for others who struggle with pain, despair and grief. She now walks as one not only redeemed, but as one justified and sanctified, relentless in her desire to share the truth of the Word of God while exposing the lies of the adversary.
We pray (and we really do pray this) that you are blessed with shouts of joy, over the intervening hand of God, rescuing you from the work of the evil one. May you experience a life of no longer fearing troubles because God has shown himself faithful in the past and trustworthy for your future. May you be blessed with experiencing your Father’s intervention at such a profound level that you are emotionally and spiritually secure, knowing that you can run to him in every need. He is your Strong Tower, today and forevermore.
In August of 2012, my aunt walked alongside of me at Covenant Hospital and said, “I just can’t see the gift in this.” Today, she can acknowledge that God has taken a very ugly circumstance and turned it into a beautiful gift for many.
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Requiring care 24 hours of the day, my sister Jayne, came to live with us after being in ICU for a week. When released from the hospital, her sugar levels were over 400, her speech slurred, her gait peculiar, her strength non-existent.
Her job was to rest, recover, release. While in the hospital, Satan came to taunt her in the dark hours of night. Those hours were redeemed, taken back by God and it was now the Holy Spirit who came to her in the quiet of the night watches.
On several occasions she awoke at 3 am, receiving comfort and sensing the Holy Spirit speaking to her heart. On the first occasion, the message was clear:
- I am your Heavenly Father and I am to be the master of your life. You can’t serve me and everyone else, but must seek to follow my desires for your life. Listen to me, follow my path. Do it my way and in my timing.
Simple, yet difficult; especially if you have been a people pleaser your whole life. Then another night and another 3 am stirring:
- Your only job is to take care of yourself. Tend to your spiritual, emotional and physical needs. You cannot help others if you don’t take care of yourself.
We worked diligently and repeatedly on the truth that she had value just in being, rather than in her “doing.” Walking to the dinner table was often the feat of the day. Each day was a reminder that just her presence was an encouragement to others. Tears would flow as she began to grasp the validity of her value in being. And then another message:
- Surrender your loved ones and their situations to me. I will do battle with them and for them.
A falsehood uncovered. As a mother and wife, she wasn’t responsible for the choices of others. She could let go; she was released from a mission that wasn’t hers to begin with. Then yet another 3 am message:
- Be content with where you are at.
Stripped of everything worldly by which we judge ourselves, the directive was to be still. The cloud by day, the fire by night, had settled over our home as to where she was to be and is to be for this undetermined season.
We wait; with great expectations. Wherever you may find yourself, be still and know that he is God.
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There are many facets to this story. Consider this Part I of a glorious story of God’s faithfulness.
The day dawned bright and clear, of which my sister Jayne, a type II diabetic has no recollection.
By early afternoon, she had slipped into a state of delirium, pulling at her own hair. As family waited for the ambulance to arrive, her sugar soared to over 900 while her body temperature plummeted to 88 degrees and a diabetic coma ensued. With all appearing hopeless, veins collapsing, renal failure and four infections running rampant, the Emergency Room doctors finally breathed a sigh of relief, shocked that they were able to save her. God had brought her through a battle against an untimely death, on August 31, 2012.
Four evenings later, while in ICU, our mother and aunt slept soundly in her room while a battle of powers and principalities took place a second time. Jayne woke to a very heavy feeling, pressing in on her chest. As she lay there, one of Satan’s emissaries, taunted her saying, “You are unworthy. You are useless, of no good. God does not want you. You need to come over to the other side.” All the while the heaviness resting on her chest, suffocating her with lies. Attempting to proclaim her status in Jesus Christ, she had no need, for at that moment, she caught a flutter of movement off to the side. The Holy Spirit descended next to her speaking truth, defending and doing battle for her again. With great authority, the Holy Spirit proclaimed, “She is a child of God, covered in the blood of Jesus Christ. She is his daughter and she is worthy. Leave, leave now and never come back.” Instantly, the heaviness left and in its place a joy and peace filled her, which Jayne states, “no earthly words can describe.”
As we share her story, many others have come forward to share similar experiences. Satan is a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. He has no shame in coming at our weakest moment and using lies to advance his cause to kill, steal and destroy. Ready yourself for battle with TRUTH.
This is not the first time battle has been done for her, for you or me. “For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called, Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6. Leaving the portals of heaven, he entered a dark and sinful world, so that he could be our Savior, our Redeemer, to give us victory over sin, death and the grave so that we may have the hope of eternal life.
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I remember the morning vividly. Upon rising in the wee hours before dawn, I finished my daily scripture reading. There was a recanting of the wanderings in the desert and reiterating the division of the territories to the different tribes. Finishing the reading for the day, I laid my Bible aside and sighed, “Lord, I was really hoping to hear a special word from you today. I don’t know where those territories are and I don’t have any interest in them.”
Instantly, my heart was seared with a thought that was not my own. “There is territory that I want to give you – that I want you to take in my name.” I gasped and wondered where the thought came from. A seemingly meaningless piece of scripture, became priceless and the memory of the revelation has been burned into my memory.
I now look at every step that I take, as new territory that I can win for Christ. Whether it is smiling at a stranger, crying with the broken hearted, rejoicing with celebrants or helping a client resolve a health issue, my endeavor is to do it to the glory of the Holy One. It can be while shopping at my local grocery store or far away when on business or vacationing. It matters not where I place my foot next or when I open my mouth, the possibility exists : an opportunity to take ground and offer hope.
It is my greatest desire that you find HOPE throughout the territory of my web site and that you share that hope with others.